A Box of Heimish Jokes: For Laughs at the Shabbos Table א קעסטל היימישע וויצן: צו לאכן ביים שבת טיש

A few jokes I've heard, some at kiddush, some on WhatsApp. All characters made up.

A man walks into shul and asks the gabbai: "When does Mincha start?" The gabbai says: "Exactly when you finish asking."

A neighbor asks Reb Berel: "How do you make such a delicious lokshen kugel?" "Very simple. I ask my father-in-law for his recipe, and I do the exact opposite."

The mashgiach asks a bochur: "Why did you come late to seder?" "Because the seder started before I came!"

At a chasunah one guy asks his friend: "You know the chosson's father or the other mechutan?" "I know the caterer."

The melamed asks: "Yossel, when do we say Shehecheyanu?" "When you come home and there's pizza for supper!"

After a drasha of an hour and a half, a man goes up to the darshan: "Rebbi, the drasha was like the Mabul!" The darshan is pleased: "Because it washed everything clean?" "No. Because it lasted forty days."

Two guys at a kiddush. One says: "The coffee here is like the neshamah." "Why?" "You can't see it, but you know it's there."

Got a good clean joke? Send it in. The Mabul one I already have, thanks.