The Shidduch "List" די שידוך "ליסט"

What is a shidduch

A "shidduch" is the system by which people are introduced for marriage in the Orthodox world, often through a shadchan ^[1]. In Litvish circles a "resume" was added: one page with the bochur's name, his yeshivos, his family, and a list of references, friends, rebbeim and neighbours who can speak about him.

The references

Here the father's work begins. He calls references, and the references get called. A friend from shiur gimmel suddenly gets a phone call: "Is he a masmid? How is he with people? How much cholent does he eat at mishmar?" The friend answers as seriously as testimony in beis din. And the bochur himself? He keeps learning and acts as if he doesn't know his whole yeshiva career is under review.

A Chasidish view

Among Chasidim the fathers often talk directly, or through a shadchan, with far less paper. In the end, on both sides, it ends with the same "mazel tov" and a l'chaim.